Half My Life As A Christian

     October 27, 1994. It was on this day, 32 years ago that I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, and surrendered my life to Him at a Billy Graham Crusade. Today, October 27, 2026, I am now 64 years old. If you put those numbers together, you can see that I have lived "exactly" half of my life as a Christian as of today! From this day forward, for all of eternity, I will have been a Christian for the majority of my life.

     My testimony of my life before, and after that day has been written elsewhere (which you can find here), so I won't go into detail on that here. However, I do want to glorify God by sharing the miracle that He has done in my life over the last 32 years.

     Very few people in my life today know what I was like before I was born again. And, of those that do, virtually all think I am a "Jesus Freak." Unfortunately, nearly every person I know from my life before Christ is still unsaved. But, the point is that they know I am not the same person they knew. The socially awkward, introverted, angry, not very smart, partying, womanizing, foul-mouthed, risk taking, sports centered mess. This is what JESUS has done!

     After I gave my life to Christ, I learned that I have two issues that explain a LOT of my past: I am autistic and dyslexic. This makes the miracle that Jesus has done in me even greater. In (John 9:1-3), it says this:

"Now as Jesus passed by, He saw a man who was blind from birth. And His disciples asked Him, saying, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind? Jesus answered, "Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but that the works of God should be revealed in him..."

     The rest of Chapter 9 goes on to show Jesus healing the blind man, and how God used that miracle to show His power and might to change a life. That is my story as well. While I have not been "healed" from autism and dyslexia, my life since salvation is a picture of "the works of God being revealed." My situation is similar to Paul's in (2 Cor 12:7-10), after he was given a "thorn in the flesh" (a physical disability - I believe near blindness). Paul asked God to remove it, but He refused, saying instead, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness."

     As we see in the New Testament, in spite of his disability, God used Paul perhaps more than any other man of his time to accomplish His work. While I may share a physical "weakness" with Paul that God has used, the scope of what God has done through me is obviously "far" less. Nevertheless, it is still a "miracle!"

     What has the Lord done with my "weakness?" As most reading this know, much of my ministry is online. In 2002 (8 years after I was saved), God led me to start my ministry website JesusAlive.cc. Today, there are now over 700 studies on the site that have been viewed in virtually every place in the world, with almost 10 million page views. Dozens of people have accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior. Through "video meetings," the Lord has opened doors for me to speak with people in over 40 countries. Right now, I am teaching 3 Bible studies through "video meetings," and 2 in-person. We have seen many people start going to a local church after joining the "video" studies, and a number have gotten baptized (I baptized several in the ocean from my local study)! I have spoken with, and met hundreds of both Christians, and non-Christians. There is even more, which I won't go into, but it is CRAZY!

     But, to this day, day by day, I am reminded of my dependence on the Lord, and how "none" of what I am doing would be possible if it was not for Him opening the doors for me. Just as with Paul, my "thorn in the flesh" is ever present. As Paul's was given his to keep him from being "proud" (2 Cor 12:7), I have come to believe mine is as well. (I wrote about this in a blog post in 2019, which you can read here). If I ever begin to think too highly of myself, the "thorn" appears again, especially when I am speaking.

     The moment I gave my life to Christ, I believe the Lord gave me a physical sign that He was going to use me in the future to serve Him (you can read about this in my testimony). Over the 32 years, I believe the primary way He has shown His strength through my weakness is through my writing. I have never been a gifted writer, and struggled with that all through school growing up (oddly though, I have always been good at "spelling"). But, as I mentioned above, the Lord has used me to help many people around the world through my writing. Amazingly though, He has also used my disabilities to play a part in that success. 

Because I have struggled my whole life to understand anything complicated, I try my best to write my studies in a way that help people who struggle in the same way. Time and time again over the years, people have thanked me for making the Bible easier for them to understand.

For me, the great thing about writing is that I can check it over and over and over for errors before I post it (Still, I find errors constantly! You might find one I missed in this blog!) But, on the other hand, you can't do this when you are speaking!

     This leads to the humorous part. I have never really felt like God has gifted me to "speak." As I teach Bible studies, and speak to people, I stumble over my words. What comes out of my mouth is not what I meant to say. I forget answers to things I should know the answer to, and more... Honestly, at times, I have thought I should just stop talking, and focus on writing. In fact, I did stop for a period of time in one of my studies. BUT, every time I have considered stopping, things start happening. A surge of people suddenly ask to join a study, or current people start mentioning how I have helped them, or...etc. Every time I want to quit, God does something to make me keep going. 

     Honestly, it all simply overwhelms me at times! How is this even happening??? Why me??? It is not in me to do what I do! I am "weak" in every area that ministry requires. I only have one answer. It is found in (2 Chr 16:9)(NKJV), "For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him."

     I don't have much I can offer the Lord, but I can give Him my heart. I have done my best to surrender my life to Him, and allow Him to use me as he sees fit. He has responded to that by giving me a ministry beyond anything I could have ever imagined. It is a "drop" in a very large bucket, but God is using it. He knows everything about me, and has given me the "perfect" ministry. A ministry that most would not want. Honestly, a ministry I think most could not do. A ministry that is 24 / 7. A ministry that is mainly online. (You should see the looks I get when people ask me what I do, and I respond with: "I run a Christian website.")

     The last 32 years of my life have been a miracle! The greatest moments of my life have happened over this time, but also the worst moments. I have more friends than I have ever had in my life, but also more people who hate me than I have ever had. I have lost family and friends, suffered persecution and ridicule, and had numerous health issues. But, thousands of people have health issues worse than mine. Thousands around the world suffer for their faith more than I do. Millions have been murdered for their faith. I am blessed in comparison! May I never forget that!

     Today is my birthday! The birthday that matters to me. The one I celebrate. Not the day I was born, but the day I was reborn! I say in all seriousness, if God can use someone like me, He can use anyone! He can use you! Give your heart to Him! Surrender your life to Him! You won't regret it! If you have never accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior, this is the first step, and you can do that here. To each of you reading this who has prayed for me, loved me, stood with me, encouraged me, and supported me at any point during these 32 years, I love you and treasure you! I would not be where I am today without you!